TIME OF THE SIGNS

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Byter Vince C sent me an email with pics of signs from Vince the Sign Guy.

Thanks Vince, ie Vince C.

Here is some background.

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Vince Rozmiarek from Colorado put up an amusing sign near the Indian Hills Community Centre 5 years ago as an April Fool’s Day joke. People so enjoyed the sign that he has been regularly updating them ever since.

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The following introduction is from a Bytes post in 2013:

Lewis Carroll had a low opinion on puns -

“The Good and Great must ever shun

That reckless and abandoned one

Who stoops to perpetrate a pun.”

And remember the scene in Master and Commander when Captain Jack Aubrey wagers the ship’s surgeon as to which of two weevils will make it the side of the plate first. The surgeon chooses the larger and loses, causing the Captain to say “Do you not know that in the service one must always choose the lesser of two weevils?” The surgeon replies ”He who would pun would pick a pocket.”

All true, but the main attribute of a pun is the groans which follow it. Puns are meant to be groaned at.

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Vince’s pics (ie the ones Vince C sent me) . . .

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Other examples from Vince (the sign guy this time) . . .

Welcome to the assumption club! I think we all know why we’re here.

Some people are such treasures you just want to bury them.

Somebody’s therapist knows all about you.

I didn’t mean to press all your buttons. I was just trying to hit mute.

Good Moms let you lick the beaters. Great Moms turn them off first.

To the thief who took my anti-depressants, I hope you’re happy.

Feeling a bit paranoid? Remember… you’re not alone.

I was in a band called the Hinges. We opened for the Doors.

Inspecting mirrors is a job I could really see myself doing.

Man in boxers leads police in brief chase.

To spell the word panda you just need a p and a.

A tombstone with a typo? Well, that’s a grave mistake.

It wouldn’t have been Wright if Ford invented the airplane.

I have a black eye in karate.

To make a long story short I became an editor.

It doesn’t make any cents, but volunteering is rewarding.

Failure is success in progress.

Honk if you think geese can understand you.

There are no such things as vampires. Unless you Count Dracula.

I’m reading a book on lubrication. It’s non-friction.

Frankenstein was angry because his doctor was overcharging him.

I don’t have the faintest idea why I passed out.

Skinny cows have slimmer calves.

Common sense is like deodorant. Those who need it most never use it.

Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.

If your cup is only half full you probably need a different bra.

With great reflexes comes great response ability.

Acupuncture is a jab well done.

The hardest thing about learning to ride a horse is the ground.

Any stairway can be a stairway to heaven if you’re clumsy enough.

I believe in the hereafter. When I enter a room, I have to recall what I’m hereafter.

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And to finish, in my opinion, one of the best puns ever . . .

Benjamin Franklin calling for solidarity during the signing of the Declaration of Independence:

“We must all hang together or assuredly we shall all hang separately.”