FUNNY FRIDAY

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Friday the 13th readers, so let's bring a little laughter to a day considered to be nmero uno in bad luck.

And to prove that size doesn't matter, today is a collection of short jokes.

Enjoy.

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SOME HUMOUR:

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What’s way worse than Friday the 13th?

Monday the whatever.

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What’s the worst part about waking up to realise it’s Friday the thirteenth?

Realising that you still have to go to work.

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My friends were arguing for hours on who won the debate last night.

I think I won because I didn’t watch it.

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Went home and told my Dad there is a small get together at school on Friday. He asked me, "How small?" I replied, "Just you, me, and the principal.”

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Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote 'The Hokie Pokey' died peacefully at the age of 83.

The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in. And then the trouble started.

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"Where is your homework, Johnny?", asked the teacher.

"An immigrant ate my dog that ate my homework."

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My wife told me that I must try to stop quoting Neil Diamond songs every time she speaks to me.

I Am I Said!

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And I’ll be what I am. A solitary man

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People say I suck at typing,

but I guess everyone has their own onions.

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People who confuse etymology and entomology really BUG me…

… in ways I can’t put into words.

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It’s funny how 100 years ago everybody had a horse and only the rich had a car, but now everyone has a car and only the rich have horses.

Oh, how the stables have turned.

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I boiled a funny bone once.

It turned into a laughing stock. It was humerus.

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FOBIA

(The fear of misspelled words)

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LIMERICK OF THE WEEK:

A responsive young girl from the East

In bed was an able artiste.

She had learned two positions

From family physicians,

And ten more from the old parish priest.

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GALLERY:

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CORN CORNER:

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What time did Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon?

Ten-ish

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I'm furious that I can't write out 1, 1000, 51, 6, and 500 in Roman numerals.

In fact, I M LI VI D.

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They call me shrooms

Because I'm a fun-guy.