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Two songs today, for reasons explained below.
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Ever heard of an earworm?
It is a piece of music or song that stays in your mind for ages, even if you try to get rid of it, and is extremely annoying. It is also known as Stuck Music Syndrome and is more pronounced for people with OCD.
I mention this because for the last few days I have had an earworm for the song ‘Right Said Fred’, which oldies like me will remember.
I mentioned this my wife Kate and played the videos of the song, which prompted her to mention Tommy Steele’s ‘What a Mouth’, also a Brit novelty song from the same period and in the same genre. Kate sings it to our grandson when he is being fed during babysitting, as he opens wide. We played the video and now I have a second earworm.
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RIGHT SAID FRED
There is a group named Right Said Fred, named after the song and formed in 1989 by the Fairbrass brothers. This post, however, is not about them.
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Video:
Musical video of the song and animated figures:
Bernard Cribbins singing the song:
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Lyrics:
"Right," said Fred, "Both of us together
One each end and steady as we go."
Tried to shift it, couldn't even lift it
We was getting nowhere
And so, we had a cuppa tea and
[Verse 2]
"Right," said Fred, "Give a shout for Charlie."
Up comes Charlie from the floor below
After strainin', heavin' and complainin'
We was getting nowhere
And so, we had a cuppa tea
[Verse 3]
And Charlie had a think
And he thought we ought
To take off all the handles
And the things wot held the candles
But, it did no good
Well, I never thought it would
[Verse 4]
"All right," said Fred, "Have to take the feet off
To get them feet off wouldn't take a mo."
Took its feet off, even took the seat off
Should have got us somewhere, but no!
So Fred said, "Let's have another cuppa tea."
And we said, "Right-o."
[Verse 5]
"All right," said Fred, "Have to take the door off
Need more space to shift the so-and-so."
Had bad twinges taking off the hinges
And it got us nowhere
And so, we had a cuppa tea and
[Verse 6]
"Right," said Fred, "Have to take the wall down
That there wall is gonna have to go."
Took the wall down, even with it all down
We was getting nowhere
And so, we had a cuppa tea
[Verse 7]
And Charlie had a think, and he said, "Look, Fred
I got a sort of feelin'
If we remove the ceiling
With a rope or two
We could drop the blighter through."
[Verse 8]
"All right," said Fred, climbing up a ladder
With his crowbar gave a mighty blow
Was he in trouble, half a ton of rubble
Landed on the top of his dome
So Charlie and me had another cuppa tea
And then we went home
(Spoken):
I said to Charlie ‘We’ll have to leave it standing on the landing, that’s all’.
You see the trouble with Fred is he’s too hasty,
I mean you never get no where if you’re too hasty
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About:
The song dates from 1962 and was written by Ted Dicks and Myles Rudge.
It is about three moving men (Fred, Charlie, and the unnamed narrator) trying without success to move a large and unwieldy piece of furniture from an apartment. The item has feet, a seat, handles and candleholders and is never identified but is often interpreted as being a piano.
The movers eventually give up after dismantling the piece of furniture and partially demolishing the building – including removing a door, a wall, and the ceiling – and taking numerous tea breaks.
After "half a ton of rubble (falls) on the top of (Fred’s) dome" (slang for head), the others have a final tea break and go home.
This novelty song - complete with sound effects - was the third release by and a big hit for Bernard Cribbins. Although he had a very transient career as a recording artist, Cribbins was already a name as a character actor and comedian when this song made the UK singles chart in 1962; he would later go on to become a narrator and children's TV presenter.
The song satirises the stereotypical British tradesman.
When Myles Rudge died in October 2007, his obituary in the Daily Telegraph said the object concerned was Ted Dicks' piano.
"Right, Said Fred" was produced by George Martin, who also produced the Beatles - it was released on Parlophone backed by "Quietly Bonkers." A humorous contemporary animated video of the song was also produced.
In 2018, this was used in a commercial for the UK finance company Key.
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WHAT A MOUTH
"What a Mouth (What a North and South)" is a music hall song written by R. P. Weston in 1906 and first sung by Harry Champion. It is better known for the version recorded by Tommy Steele in 1960, which peaked at number 5 on the UK Singles Chart.
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Video:
Tommy Steele:
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Lyrics:
Jimmy Bean was a funny lookin' fella'
If he had another mouth he'd look much wella'
But his face
Cleared him
From winning the beauty show
It was like a steam boat funnel
Or a railway arch, or the blackwall tunnel
If you can't see Jim when he opens his mouth you'll know
And as poor Jim goes walking about
You can hear the kids all hollerin' out
What?
What? Oh erm
What a mouth!
What a mouth!
What a north and south
Blimey what a mouth he's got
Now when he was a baby lord oh lummee!
His poor old mummy used to feed him with a shovel
What a gap
Poor chap
He's never been known to laugh
'Cos if he did it's a penny to a quid that his mouth would fall in 'alf
Mouth so large
Lord oh lummee
He could whisper in his own ear ain't it funny
Now to quench his thirst
Now he's got to take a drink oh my
He got so drunk one foggy morn
He laid in the road and started to yawn
And a poor old man was delivering coals close by
And he went to shoot the load
He saw Jim's mouth out in the road
What?
What? Oh yes hmm
What a mouth!
What a mouth!
What a north and south
Blimey what a mouth he's got
Now the poor old man being a short sighted fella
When he saw Jim’s mouth he took it for the cellar
And he shot the lot right into his mouth no joke
Jim’s got a tummy full of coal and he coughs up lumps of coke
What?
What? Oh blimey I thought it was all over
What a mouth!
What a mouth!
What a north and south
Blimey what a mouth he's got
Now the poor old man being a short sighted fella
When he saw Jim’s mouth he took it for the cellar
And he shot the lot right into his mouth no joke
Jim’s poor soul’s got a tummy full of coal and he coughs up lumps of coke
Oi!
Oi!
Oi!
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About:
The first commercially released recording was by The Two Bills from Bermondsey — Bill Burnham and Bill French — who were recorded by Peter Kennedy at "The Cock & Monkey" in Bermondsey on 13 February 1954. The 78 rpm record, Parlophone R 3953, was released in January 1955.
Steele recorded a cover of "What a Mouth" as it was one of his father's favourite songs.
Steele's father told him that he knew he would be successful if he "became as successful as the Two Bills".
Tommy Steele, real name Sir Thomas Hicks OBE, was born in 1936 and is regarded as Britain's first teen idol and rock and roll star.
Steele shifted away from rock and roll in the 1960s, becoming an all-round entertainer . He originated the part of Kipps in Half a Sixpence in the West End and on Broadway, reprising his role in the 1967 film version. As an actor, he notably appeared in the films The Happiest Millionaire (1967) and Finian's Rainbow (1968) and as the lead in several West End productions of Singin' in the Rain. Also an author and sculptor, Steele remains active. He was knighted in the 2020 Birthday Honours for services to entertainment and charity and was awarded the Freedom of the City of London in 2021.
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