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Bored Panda recently posted images of some bizarre and hilarious signs taken from various Facebook groups. Here are the links:
Absurd Signs (Not Absurd Rules)
The Absurd Sign Project Uncensored 2:
Bored Panda:
Here is a selection with reader comments:
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No, they do it voluntarily and without payments!
The female side of me agrees wholeheartedly!
There wouldn't be enough signs.. 🤣
Then who put that sign up?
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I heard Kevin Bacon is taking up the Jewish faith and his surname will no longer be allowed.
Bob Hope?............ k.
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Don't forget you'll also give them a kitten/puppy if that doesn't get the parents attention
Or a recorder flute, perhaps?
Most children don't need to be taught how to swear. By the time my daughter had been in school for 3 years she knew more swear words than I did. It only takes one child with an older sibling to teach all the others.
From my experience such kids could give lessons in swearing.
Used for medical experiments.
And the children will also be provided with a harmonica, or a drum kit, for home use.
Is this the sign into my kids school?
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My Uncle has this very warning on his front door. Too many years of working third shift, and being awakened in the middle of his "night" by people who did not take "Go the F*&^ away!" for an answer.
When I worked nights I put a sign on the door that read " I am working nights, that means if you are reading this I am sleeping. If you wake me up for any other reason than the house is on fire, I will pull your lips off" It worked.
I actually really like this.
I need this sign
Genius. Unfortunately not-binding but genius nonetheless.
Without a doubt it can be frustrating, people knocking at your door when you’re not interested, especially those who pound/rap on your door so aggressively & half-shout rather than speak in normal tones (not very nice if you’re autistic & spook easily at sudden loud noises, like myself). If they behave like that, I’d say there’s no shame in telling them where to shove it. You shouldn’t have to put up with anyone hassling you in your own doorway for no good reason. 🤷♀️😑
We have this saying posted too. If a visit wasn't scheduled properly, DO NOT just show up on my doorstep! Warning: You will not be greeted in a friendly manner!
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Thanks for the clarification.
They're promising us that they won't make that mistake again
My local septic company's slogan is : "We take sh*t from anyone!"
I've seen a septic tank pump company's slogan say "You Dump, We Pump (But not at the same time)"
I want to see the previous sign, to find out if they added that clarification.
Better to have too much information than too little.
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I wouldn’t mind vegan people if a lot of them didn’t try to force it onto others
I really don’t care what you eat or don’t eat, just don’t push your diet on others
I don’t get why people make fun of vegans, not everyone of us is crazy?
They know we have a point, to say the very, very least. Making fun of it spares them of any serious thought about it...
I am not against vegans. However, being vegan and forcing it on other people are two very different things
I used to be vegan. I'd never bring it up, but often during a meal, someone would ask me about it. Without fail, every single time, a meat-eater made a massive issue about it, making jokes, pulling faces, saying stupid s**t like "well, I guess I'll eat even more meat to make up for you", etc., in addition to waving forkfulls of meat in my face, or putting ribs on top of my food. Here on BP, people love to give vegans s**t, but I guarantee meat eaters are just as bad.
For whatever cause it might be, please don't put stickers on street signs. You can cause accidents this way.
I laughed at the various stages of this, but you're absolutely right. Road signs are only put up for good reason.
For hard core vegans: It's not what you eat, it is how it is grown. Pesticide soy that destroys indigenous lands and cause erosion, is more harmful than local farm-raised chickens. Also, try a vegan diet without packages...hard heh? Plastic takes gazillion years to decompose
They don't want to think about the impact their choices have on the environment, they're too busy trying to make everyone else feel guilty to feel better about themselves. I know, not all vegans are like this, just the loud obnoxious ones.
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As a safety officer I can tell you every rule was invented because some things went wrong and we learned this .....
When I was in the submarine service whenever someone would say a policy was dumb our safety officer would say 'every policy is written in blood' and would just know off the top of his head exactly what accident caused that policy and the casualty count of it.
3 Americans or 10 people. Nice
This one is hilarious, I live in a French riviera very touristic city. All summer long we can see so many fat Americans. I mean it's ok we have some fat people also in France but damn sometimes they are just huge, I don't know if it's just a feeling or if there is really a big statistic difference but that's impressive.
There is a big statistic difference between Europeans in general and us Americans in general in the weight department. A much larger % in USA are obese then in Europe. Or the rest of the world except a few small super poor islands literally in the middle of the ocean..
99% of warning signs are there to protect idiots from themselves. The world would soon be a better place if we eliminated all warning signs.
Hey! I've seen many overweight Hispanics. Then again, I live in Texas.
From google : 35% obesity rate in texas / 30% in Mexico but i think the photo is taken in Spain (18% obesity), explaining this "joke".
That's a tad harsh. But I'd say 10/5 is probably a fair ratio. I know I'm easily two average Filipinos.
HEY NOW *shoves burger in mouth*
With a double order of fries with extra salt and a Diet Coke
Oh yes shaming people based on their country of origin, how enlightened.
Hey- if the XXXXL clothes fit……..
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Sometimes? Hahahaha. Try usually!
Accurate lol
I don't believe everything happens for a reason, but I do believe this sign is hilarious.
Ain't that the truth lol
That's the reason I always give. Ahyep, I have a habit of making bad decisions. Oh, and it goes across the board - friends, jobs, purchases, spouses,...
I KNOW this!
Yep, I know that .......now
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He knows where he is.
When my son was three he wandered away from me in a store. I was frantic when I finally found him and he said, "I knew where I was".
Not all who wander are lost…
He just feels that way.
Same
is Lost his name?
He really is lost. Just waiting for someone helpful to show him the way home
Found!
He recognised himself.. he is a clever dog and now back home.. ( we hope)
Aren't we all?
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What's wrong with Ohio? I live in Ohio *Annoyed pouty face*
What is the joke about Ohio? As a non-american (one of the 2 types of people in the world) I don't get it.
I have no idea and I'm American
Trouble is, the only way around Ohio is through Kentucky
There are some really cool things to do in Ohio. Cedar Point has the second most roller coasters of any amusement park in the world, and they're all good. There is the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, the Football Hall of Fame(or hand-egg as I heard someone say). Ok, that might be it, but those are still some fun things to do.
I live in Ohio... and yeahhh
Nothing like feeling welcome, is there?
"Ohio is just closet space that never got to New York." - Jack Paar
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