A BOGAN POEM

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For those not in the know, such as overseas readers, ‘bogan’ is the local term for a redneck.

Historians and etymologists are still unsure as to precisely where the term bogan originated. Some research suggests the term originated from specific areas around Melbourne's western suburbs during the 1980s. Others believe it comes from communities living near the Bogan River in rural NSW.

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The Bogan

by Choco Munday

Choco's comment: 

The Aussie Bogan is an endangered species. Good thing, too.

SERIOUS LANGUAGE WARNING!!!

I am an Aussie Bogan, and for that I should be happy,

I walk around in Ug-boots wearing nought but daks of tracky.

With flanny pocket bulging with a box of Winnie Reds,

I head off to St Vinnies with my beanie on my head.

An Aussie Bogan's life is as busy as can be,

It's an hour's walk to town to get my bourbon and V.B.

And just so's the Mrs and the kids don't do two trips,

I'll stop and buy us all some lunch - three bucks worth of chips!

I jack another car up on some bricks on my front lawn,

The disc pads are almost new, and the tyres are just half-worn;

There's half a tank of petrol and the battery's not yet fucked,

I'll flog them off and sell the rest for a couple of hundred bucks!

On payday I'll head down the pub with the Mrs and the kids,

It's happy hour at five O'Clock and schnitzel night at Sid's,

If Centrelink overpay me, like those dickheads often do,

I'll put fifty in the pokies and I'll get a new tattoo!

The kids have gone to school, and the Mrs is in bed,

I'm sitting here, drinking beer and smoking a Winnie Red,

As I reflect upon my life, I wonder what's in store?

Will I ever get my ute fixed, will my Mum go guarantor?

But then I spot a business man, a plumber and a hostie,

Over there's a tradie, and, Oh! Here comes the Postie.

I know what they are thinking, as they glance my way and grunt,

But I'm an Aussie bogan, so go fuck yourself you cunt!

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Back in 2011 I posted a Bytes item on bogans and it is worth a look, whicch can be done by clicking on:

http://www.bytesdaily.com.au/2011/10/bogans.html#more 

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From that 2011 post:

Q: How do you know if you're a bogan?

A: You let your 15-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.

Q. What does a bogan use as protection during sex?

A. The bus shelter.

Q. What do you call a 30-year-old bogan girl?

A. Grandma.

Q. Why did the bogan cross the road?

A. To start a fight with a complete stranger for no reason whatsoever.

Q. What do you call a bogan girl in a white tracksuit?

A. The bride.

Q. What's the first question during a bogan quiz night?

A. What you looking at?

Q. Two bogans are in a car without any music, who is driving?

A. The policeman