TEACHER COMMENTS

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A Reddit site records stories about the times teachers had to discipline their students for inappropriate comments or behaviour, but they secretly thought that they were being hilarious. Bored Panda recently posted a series of items from that site, here is a selection, the BP link being:

https://www.boredpanda.com/teachers-share-inappropriate-but-hilarious-student-comments/?utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=Newsletter

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South Indian immigrant kid. Strong accent. Kids were riffing "yo momma" jokes. Kid hems and haws and gets everyone's attention, then drops: "I, too, would make fun of your mother, excepting that cows are sacred in my culture."

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We were doing some very basic fermentation experiments in high school, the one where you add in different amounts of yeast, warm water, and sugar in flasks and you place a balloon over the top to see which one expands the most (aka produces the most carbon dioxide). Anyways, one of the groups overdid it and their balloon exploded sending a gooey yeast mess all over the four group members. One of the kids stands up, removes his goggles, and shouts "I f*****g love science!" at the top of his lungs. This happened to be during an observation. The admin was also trying to suppress her laughter.

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Male teacher here. Teaching sex Ed. Going over methods of protection. I was talking about condoms and this guy said, “Hey, Mr. ##, you know that barcode at the base of every condom?”

I said, “Don’t think I’ve ever noticed that.”

He replied, “Oh, I guess you ain’t gotta roll yours down that far, huh?”

I laughed probably harder than I should have.

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Elementary PE class was getting lined up to leave the gym. Biggest kid in my class bent over and of course, had half of his butt crack pop up the back of his pants. The smallest kid in class with his high pitched voice proceeded to yell, "Release the Kraken!".

I was getting ready to get on him when the big kid started to lose his mind laughing. Once he started, the rest of the class and myself started. Big kid was an awesome young man and said he thought it was hilarious.

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I teach kindergarten. One of my sweetest little girls, coming inside from recess, smiles and says “man, it’s f*****g cold outside!” I asked her to repeat herself, and sure enough, I heard her correctly. Hard not to laugh

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My wife, a middle school teacher, once told a kid to walk over and flip off the light switch so the class could see the overhead projector easier.

so...he walked over and gave the switch the bird.

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Some kids at a local school painted a penis on top of the library (flat roof) no one knew until it was spotted on Google earth. It was in the paper, just search 'yarm school library penis'. Hilarious.

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I handed a detention to one of my ninth-grade students, and he tried begging his way out of it. He eventually said, "Who do I have to kill or sleep with to get out of this?"

He was not aware that the administrator in charge of discipline had quietly entered the room immediately prior to this. (This was the hilarious part.)

I later related this event to the middle school football coach, without naming the student. He replied, "That sound like something {Actual name of student} would do."

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A friend of my parents was acting in a University play as Poseidon, who was evil and had various dastardly monologues throughout detailing his nefarious mind.

Anyway, a group of school kids sat in the front row in the audience, all about nine years old.

In the middle of a particularly intense and malicious speech, one of them stood up and shouted, 'F**k off, Poseidon, you’re a w*nker!'

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I teach 7/8 year olds at the minute. At lunch time I overheard Child A say to Child B that they can't eat something because they have a nut allergy, then Child C comes in with the comment "but are you allergic to THESE NUTS?" as he cups his balls/pants.

I had to give out to him of course, but I was laughing on the inside! As the child was in tears for getting in trouble haha.

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A student signed his name "Dixie Normus". That gave me a good chuckle.

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After telling kid he needs to buckle down and get work done..

He point blank told me that if I just sit there on my a*s all day, he can sit on his a*s and not do work too.

Ballsy move kid. It didn't pay off as I sent him downstairs but I still chuckle about it.

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