FUNNY FRIDAY

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-Something different today for Funny Friday – it’s all corn.

By the way #1:

Here are some explanations for the origin of the term “corny” to describe jokes 

• It’s been a term of derision only since the 1930s, when something that was “corny” or “cornfed” or “on the cob” was rustic, countrified, old-fashioned, unsophisticated and behind the times – and hence trite or hackneyed.

• It first was used by jazz musicians, who called a style of playing “corny” if it was outmoded or worn out. This is the Oxford English Dictionary’s first citation, from 1932: “The ‘bounce’ of the brass section … has degenerated into a definitely ‘corny’ and staccato style of playing.”

• Another theory is that at the beginning of the 20th century, seed companies in America started sending out catalogues to the farmers to advertise their goods. To spice up the catalogues, they would sprinkle jokes and cartoons throughout the pages. The jokes on the pages were of low quality and the jokes came to be known as "corn jokes", which was then shortened to "corny", and eventually applied to all humour considered unsophisticated.

• It is possible that both theories are true. Perhaps it was farmers who first came up with "corny," only to have the term turned against them by urban sophisticates.

By the way #2:

A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbour and says “Please come help me, I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get started.”

Her neighbour asks, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?”

The lady says, “According to the picture on the box, it’s supposed to be a rooster.”

The neighbour decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him in and shows him where she has all the pieces spread all over the table.

He studied the pieces for a moment, looks at the box, turns to her and says, “First of all, no matter what we do, we’re not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster.”

He takes her hand and says, “Secondly, I want you to relax. Let’s have a nice cup of tea, and then,” he says with a deep sigh,

“Let’s put all the corn flakes back in the box.”

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CORN CORNER:

__________

The other night, this girl called me up and said "C'mon over, nobody's home".

So I went over and nobody was home.

__________

A man tells his doctor, “Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!”

The doctor replies, “Sorry, I don’t follow you …”

__________

I was visiting my boyfriend the other night when I asked him if I could have a newspaper.

“I don’t waste my money on newspapers. Just use my MacBook Pro."

I can tell you this: That cockroach never knew what hit him.

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No matter where he goes, Prime Minister Scott Morrison likes to bring his ukulele, then, whenever someone asks if he plays an instrument, he says...

“Yeah, I play a little guitar!"

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79% of people don't know the opposite for the following:

1) Always

2) Coming

3) From

4) Take

5) Me

6) Down

Okay, I will tell you, I had to look it up . . .

it’s a Rick Roll:

1) Never

2) Going

3) To

4) Give

5) You

6) Up

__________

Just failed etymology AND entomology class.

I'd tell you how much that bugs me, but I can't find the word for it.

__________

My girlfriend has been telling me for years that I need glasses. I finally decided to go to the eye doctor to prove her wrong.

Now I have to hide these fucking glasses.

__________

Two guys are playing chess.

One says to the other, "How about we make this more interesting?"

So they stop playing chess.

__________

My wife left me because she said I’m insecure.

No, no. Wait. Here she comes. She just went to the bathroom.

__________

I phoned my wife and told her I had something to tell her, but it's hard to say.

Nervously, she said "What is it?"

I said "Ken Dodds Dad's dog is dead".

__________

Are you sweating whilst putting fuel in your car? Feeling sick when paying?

You have got the carownervirus.

__________

Statistics show that 1 out of 3 people in a relationship are cheating.

Now I've just got to figure out if it's my girlfriend or my wife.

__________

What I Yoda’s Last Name?

It’s “Lei he hoogh”

YODA LEI HEE HOOGH

__________

What's the difference between a vitamin and a hormone?

You can't make a vitamin...

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Anybody here believe in telekinesis?

If so, raise my hand.

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