-------☹😊☹-------
Here is some Friday humour to mark the way . . .
Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden, feeling very lonely, so God asked Adam, "What is wrong with you?" Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to.
-------oOo-------
What's the difference between a fairy tale and a redneck tale?
Fairy tales begin with "Once upon a time...", while redneck tales begin with "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."
-------oOo-------
A man was taken to court for calling an Honourable Minister a pig.
It was his first offence and the Judge was in a good mood and decided to show mercy.
So he discharged him after warning him to desist from unguarded utterances in future.
The man removed his cap and thanked the benevolent Judge profusely. ''Thank you, your lordship."
He continued. "Honestly sir, I didn't know it was wrong to call an Honourable Minister a pig. I won't do it again. I am sorry.''
''It's okay.'' Said the Judge. ''You may go.''
''My lord, may I ask a question, sir?''
''Feel free,'' answered the Judge.
''Now I know it's wrong to call an Honourable Minister a pig, but is it also wrong to call a pig Honourable Minister?''
Amused, the Judge replied. ''I don't know why you would want to address a pig as Minister. But I don't think the pig would mind. Anyway, it's not unlawful by the way. Yes, you may call any pig Honourable Minister.''
The man smiled and nodded, then he turned to
look pointedly at the Minister and said. ''Goodbye, Honourable Minister.
(This reminds me of a story I heard may years ago that someone in Parliament once declared that one of the Members had the brain of a sheep. Ordered to retract on a point of order, he then declared "Very well, the Honourable Member for [whatever electorate it was] doesn't have the brain of a sheep.")
In Jerusalem, a female journalist heard about a
very old Jewish man who had been going to the Wailing Wall to pray, twice a
day, every day, for a long, long time. So she went to check it out.
She went to the Wailing Wall and there he was!
She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, she approached him for an interview.
“Sir, how long have you been coming to the Wall
and praying?”
“For about 60 years.”
“60 years! That’s amazing! What do you pray for?”
“I pray for peace. I pray for all the hatred to stop and I pray for all our children to grow up in safety and friendship.”
“How do you feel after doing this for 60
years?”
Someone from Melbourne sent me an email yesterday stating that she would go to my friend’s restaurant in Sydney when the boarders were open again. She obviously meant “borders” but it reminded me of the following:
A teacher addresses her primary school class: “Class, the lesson now is spelling. I would like each of you to stand up, tell me what you had for breakfast and then spell it. Billy?”
Billy stands and says “ I had bacon and eggs Miss, B-A-C-O-N, E-G-G-S.” “Good,” says the teacher, “Sally?”
Sally stands and says “I had toast, Miss, T-O-A-S-T.” “Also good,” says the teacher, “Johnny?”
Johnny gets to his feet and says “I didn’t have any fuckin’ breakfast, F-U-….” Before he can finish the teacher cuts him short and soundly tells him off, then sends the children out to recess.
Over the break she thinks to herself that she may have been a little hard on Johnny, that maybe she should make it up to him when class resumes. She decides that she will ask him the first question when they return from recess.
After they are all seated she says “Class, this lesson is geography. Johnny, can you tell me where the Queensland border is?”
Says Johnny “Well, when I left home this morning he was in bed with me Mum, that’s why I didn’t have any fuckin’ breakfast.”
-------☹😊☹-------
LIMERICK OF THE WEEK:
-------☹😊☹-------
CORN CORNER:
Bruce Lee was fast
But his brother, Sudden, was faster.
-------oOo-------
They've finally
found a cure for dyslexia
The news is
music to my arse.
Yes, it's
ferrous jeweller's day off.
-------☹😊☹-------
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.