A POEM

A poem utilising a limerick format for its stanzas . . .

Confessions Of A Serial Plant Killer

- Cynthia C. Naspinski

Oh, I wish that I had a green thumb.

All my houseplants are looking quite glum.

I never can tell

Why they're looking unwell

Or why so many succumb.

Have I failed to give enough water?

Have I watered them more than I oughta?

Are they getting too hot?

Is this not the right spot?

It's like sending poor lambs to the slaughter.

The hard, undeniable fact is

Many succulents, ferns and a cactus,

A begonia, a fig,

Many palms, small and big,

Have been victims of my malpractice.

I confess I'm a serial killer.

Many end up as mulch or land filler.

I kill far more plants

Than snails, thrips or ants.

Or an army of green caterpillar!

Though houseplants are deemed beneficial,

Should these perish, then it is official:

I'll waste no more dough

Just to watch 'em die slow,

For my next plants will be artificial!

_____________

So here is my version the same theme:

It’s been one of my lifetime regrets,
My plants dying causes upsets,
But an idea fantastic -
They’ll now be of plastic
And so will all of my pets.