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This one's for my father in law Noel, who is a Benny Hill fan . . .
It's actually not a poem, rather they are the lyrics to a 1970 Benny Hill song, which you can see him perform by clicking on:
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BROKEN HEARTED LOVERS' STEW
by Benny Hill
And there's a heartache and a memory and just a tear or two
In a broken-hearted lovers' stew
There are nine carrots to remind me of the ring I bought for you
Some mint for all the crazy things that we 'mint' to do
A lettuce, 'cause your Mum and Dad would not 'lettuce' alone
I won't put in the truffles, you've got truffles of your own
An artichoke for the hearty jokes your father used to tell
And as he was a Welshman we'll have a leek as well
And your cousin, the religious one, so sanctimonious
For him some loafs and fishes 'cause that's all he ever does
And there's a heartache and a memory and just a tear or two
In a broken-hearted lovers' stew
There's a radish 'cause you kept repeating that your love was true
A beetroot for the time I said that I'd "bee-troot"-to you
Some shallots for the time I said I love you such "shallot"
Some capers to remind me of what up to which we got
A turnip for the way you always used to "turnip" late
A melon for the "melon"-choly way I used to wait
A chilli for how I felt as I waited for you
And a marrow to remind me of what I was frozen to
And there's a heartache and a memory and just a tear or two
In a broken-hearted lovers' stew
There's a swede to remind me of the man you left for me
An egg because you used to egg me on incessantly
And your little baby brother, what a messy little kid
For him some wine and water, 'cause that's all he ever did
Oh, I was fond of olives and you liked herbs I know
I gave up seeing "Olive" but "Herb" didn't want to go
So for the man who won you, there is one thing I must do
Put in some sage and onions 'cause he wants stuffing too
And there's a heartache and a memory and just a tear or two
In a broken-hearted lovers' stew
-----oOo-----
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