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Good morning (or
afternoon/evening, depending upon where you are) this Good Friday, good Byters!
Yes, it’s
Easter Friday, aka Good Friday.
Although it is
commonly thought that Good Friday is a corruption of "God Friday", similar
to the correct description of "goodbye" as a contraction of "God
be with you", this is wide of the Mark, Matthew, Luke and John. Ha ha.
In fact, "Good Friday" comes from the obsolete meaning of the
word ”good” as "pious, holy".
The adjective “good” traditionally designates a day on (or sometimes a
season in) which religious observance is held. The Oxford English Dictionary
states that "good" in this context refers to "a day or season
observed as holy by the church", hence the greeting "good tide"
at Christmas or on Shrove Tuesday. In addition to Good Friday, there is also a
less well-known Good Wednesday, namely the Wednesday before Easter.
Whether you
think of it as Good Friday, God’s Friday or just Plain Friday, this holy season
has been a bit of a pisser worldwide, hence it is important that this is another
form of Friday, namely Funny Friday.
Hopefully the items today will bring a smile, perhaps a chuckle, maybe
even a belly laugh, in what is presently a grim and melancholy world.
Be warned, though, risque content lies ahead.
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Today’s Funny
Friday presents something different, although I have posted on the topic previously. It is another “F” word: Furtling.
Furtling comes
from the Latin word “furtivus”, which means hidden, and consists of the use of
one’s hands to simulate or create the impression of anatomical features in a
postcard or photograph. It was a popular
Victorian parlour game in the days before TV and radio. The photos or pictures are of normal people
who are then unintentionally exposing their private parts.
Funny isn’t it,
that the same age that gave us a synonym for prudishness (Victorian morality,
attitudes etc) and saw all sorts of modest protocols, was at the same time
obsessed with matters sexual. But that’s
a topic for a future Bytes post.
As I said, I have
posted on the topic of furtling some time ago.
I came across it again recently and discovered more furtles (I assume that’s
the noun), so the post which follows is an amplified and revised treatment of
the subject.
Enjoy.
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Quite some
years ago, while browsing in Bob Gould's Book Emporium, I came across a
marvellous book called “The Naughty Victorian Hand Book.” It was subtitled
“Furtling: The Rediscovered Art of Erotic Hand Manipulation”.
There are two
pages to each furtle, one which shows how to position one’s hand underneath a
diagram with an exposed space, the other the previous page which is then laid
over the first.
Furtling was commonly
used for entertainment purposes rather than overt sexual gratification. Amazing, though, how the fingers and hand
positions can create risqué anatomical images.
Even young hands can have old looking creases when closed, varying appearances
can be incorporated in ways that suit.
Unfortunately I
no longer have that book but following are images of Furtling, both from the
book mentioned above and from other sources:
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FROM THE VAULT:
On their first date, Joe took Rose to the carnival. When he asked her what she wanted to do first, Rose replied, "Get weighed."
So Joe took her to the man with the scale who guesses your weight. He looked at Rose and said, "One hundred and twenty pounds." Since Rose weighed in at one seventeen, she collected a prize.
Next they went on the roller coaster. When the ride was finished, Joe asked Rose what she wanted to do next. "Get weighed," she said. So they went back to the man with the scale, who of course guessed Rose's weight correctly. Leaving without a prize, they went for a ride on the merry-go-round. After they got off, Joe asked Rose what she wanted to do next. "I want to get weighed!" she said again.
Now Joe began to think this girl was quite strange, and decided to end the evening quickly. He left her at the door with a quick handshake.
Rose's roommate was waiting up for her return and asked how the evening went.
"Wousy!" Rose replied.
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LIMERICK OF THE
WEEK . . .
From moi . . .
Okay God,
you’re being too tough,
It’s Easter, an
end to Covid and stuff.
No health, jobs
and money,
It’s no longer
funny,
We’ve been
quite coronaed enough.
(I am indebted
to my wife Kate for coining the term “coronaed” to describe not only being
infected or testing positive but the whole Covid-19 scene.)
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CORN CORNER:
My friend keeps
saying "Cheer up man, it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in
a hole full of water."
I know he means
well.
---oOo----
My friend Ty
came first in the Beijing marathon, but he wasn’t given the gold medal.
The Chinese
authorities refuse to recognize Ty won.
---oOo----
I saw an advert
that read "Radio for sale, $1.00, volume stuck of full"
I thought,
"I can't turn that down"
---oOo----
Two cannibals
are eating a clown.
One looks at
the other and says: "Does this taste funny to you?"
---oOo----
I thought my
wife was joking when she said she'd leave me if i didn’t stop singing 'I'm a
believer'...
Then I saw her
face.
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