Funny Friday

Yep, Fridays are flying fast and it will be Christmas sooner than you think.  

So if it's Friday, it's also time for some Friday mirth.  Unable to come up with a theme, "laziness" came to mind . . .

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"So you're able to carry shopping to a customer's car free of charge?" I asked the guy in Tesco this morning.

"Yes," he replied.

I said, "Can you carry mine for me?" 

He said, "Sure."

As we walked across the entire distance of the car park, I stopped beside my car and said, "I could've carried it myself but I'm a lazy bastard."

"I gathered that," he replied, "Here's your Kit Kat."

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I said to my wife this morning, "I was just reading in a scientific paper now, that blades of grass can actually feel pain. Amazing isn't it?"

"Nice try dickhead. The lawnmower's in the shed."

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Instead of John, I call my bathroom Jim, that way it sounds better when I say I went to the Jim first thing this morning.

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I'm sick of everyone calling me lazy, so I've decided I'm going to commit suicide.

I've hired a hitman for the job.

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The missus reckons I'm lazy and that I can't be bothered to finish anyth

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I went to my next door neighbour's BBQ today.

"Did you bring any beer?" he asked.

"No," I replied, "I was chilling out indoors and I couldn't be bothered to walk to the shop."

"You must be the laziest bastard in the world," he said.

"Yeah, the taxi driver just told me the same thing."

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I'm feeling lazier than the bloke who designed the Japanese flag.

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Corn Corner: