Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Bible Bans (or things that piss God off):


Obey all my laws and commands. I am the Lord. (Leviticus 19.37)

(Quotations from the Good News Translation)

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Burning yeast or honey in offerings to God:

"None of the grain offerings which you present to the Lord may be made with yeast; you must never use yeast or honey in food offered to the Lord." (Leviticus 2.11)

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Failing to include salt in offerings to God:

"Put salt on every grain offering, because salt represents the covenant between you and God. (You must put salt on all your offerings.)"
(Leviticus 2.13)
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Eating fat:

"No Israelite may eat any fat or any blood; this is a rule to be kept forever by all Israelites wherever they live."
 (Leviticus 3.17)
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Letting your hair become unkempt:

"Then Moses said to Aaron and to his sons Eleazar and Ithamar, "Do not leave your hair uncombed or tear your clothes to show that you are in mourning. If you do, you will die, and the Lord will be angry with the whole community. But all other Israelites are allowed to mourn this death caused by the fire which the Lord sent."
(Leviticus 10.6)
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Tearing your clothes:

(Leviticus 3.17) (see above)
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Going to church within sixty-six days after giving birth to a girl:

"For fourteen days after a woman gives birth to a daughter, she is ritually unclean, as she is during her monthly period. Then it will be sixty-six more days until she is ritually clean from her loss of blood."
(Leviticus 12.5)
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Note that a woman who gives birth to a daughter is unclean for twice the length of a woman who gives birth to a son:

"For seven days after a woman gives birth to a son, she is ritually unclean, as she is during her monthly period."

"For fourteen days after a woman gives birth to a daughter, she is ritually unclean, as she is during her monthly period."
(Leviticus 12.2,5)
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Eating or touching the carcass of certain animals:

"Moles, rats, mice, and lizards must be considered unclean. Whoever touches them or their dead bodies will be unclean."
(Leviticus 11.29, 31)
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Sex with a woman during her period:

"Do not have intercourse with a woman during her monthly period, because she is ritually unclean."
(Leviticus 18.19)
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Reaping to the very edges of a field:

"When you harvest your fields, do not cut the grain at the edges of the fields, and do not go back to cut the heads of grain that were left."
(Leviticus 19.9)
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Picking up grapes that have fallen in your vineyard:

"Do not go back through your vineyard to gather the grapes that were missed or to pick up the grapes that have fallen; leave them for poor people and foreigners. I am the Lord your God."
(Leviticus 19.10)
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Eating or touching the carcass of still more animals:

"You must not eat any of the following birds: eagles, owls, hawks, falcons; buzzards, vultures, crows; ostriches; seagulls, storks, herons, pelicans, cormorants; hoopoes; or bats."
(Leviticus 11.13)
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Trimming your beard or sideburns:

"Do not cut the hair on the sides of your head or trim your beard"
 (Leviticus 11.13)
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Eating or touching certain insects:

"All winged insects are unclean, except those that hop. You may eat locusts, crickets, or grasshoppers. But all other small things that have wings and also crawl must be considered unclean. 
(Leviticus 11.20-23)
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For some animals you get detention to evening:

"If you touch the dead bodies of the following animals, you will be unclean until evening: all animals with hoofs, unless their hoofs are divided and they chew the cud, and all four-footed animals with paws. If you carry their dead bodies, you must wash your clothes, but you will still be unclean until evening." (Leviticus 11.24)
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Getting a tattoo:

"Do not cut the hair on the sides of your head or trim your beard or tattoo yourselves or cut gashes in your body to mourn for the dead. I am the Lord."
(Leviticus 19.27-28)
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Not respecting the elderly:

"Show respect for old people and honor them. Reverently obey me; I am the Lord." 
(Leviticus 19.32)
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Cursing Mum or Dad is even worse:

"Any of you that curse your father or mother shall be put to death; you are responsible for your own death."
(Leviticus 20.9)
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Not being nice to refugees:

"Do not mistreat foreigners who are living in your land. Treat them as you would an Israelite, and love them as you love yourselves." 
(Leviticus 19.33-34)


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