Limericks

We haven't had any limericks in a while, here are some . . .

* * * * * * * * * *
When astronomers showed Earth was lowly,
Not Heaven's sweet centre most holy,
Philosophers grumbled
At theories crumbled.
As one said, “I wish someone had Ptolemy.

* * * * * * * * * *
As the poets have mournfully sung,
Death takes the innocent young,
The rolling in money,
The screamingly funny,
And those who are very well hung.
(by W.H. Auden)

* * * * * * * * * *
There was a young lady from Nachez
Whose clothing was always in patches.
When she was asked why,
She replied, with a sigh,
“Because, when Ah itches, Ah scratches.”

* * * * * * * * * *
The youths who frequent picture palaces
Have no need for psychoanalysis.
And though Dr. Freud
Is distinctly annoyed
They cling to their long-standing fallacies.
* * * * * * * * * *
There was a young fellow named Hall
Who died in the spring in the fall.
'Twould have been a bad thing
Had he died in the spring
But he didn't — he died in the fall.

The above is a double, triple pun limerick:

“spring” can mean:

a season of the year;

a source of water; and 

a leap or jump.

“fall” can mean:
a season of the year;
a source of water; and
tripping and falling down.