Funny Friday

A happy Easter to Bytes readers on this Funny Good Friday.

Some Easter humour to start the Easter holidays, a couple having been resurrected from past years but being too good not to include.

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A real Easter miracle would be for Jesus to turn water into reasonably priced petrol.

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What did Jesus say to his 12 apostles as he was being nailed to the cross?

"Don't touch my Easter eggs, I'll be back on Monday."

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Can anyone help me with my Easter crossword puzzle?

2 across. "Where they nailed Jesus."

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How to make Easter easier - replace the t with an i.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger was upset that his mum never got him any Easter eggs.

She said, "I thought that you didn't like Easter anymore!" 

Arnie replied, "I still love Easter baby!"

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I'm combining Easter and April Fools day this year - I'm sending the kids out to look for eggs I haven't hidden.

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My 10-year old daughter drops a bomb at Sunday dinner: 

"I'm not a virgin any more ..." 

I turn to the wife: "That's your fault, you slut! Always flirting with other men, commenting on all the well-built men on telly, swearing like a trooper!" 

I turn to my 17-year-old daughter: "And you, you're to blame as well! You shag any bloke with a willy." 

The wife turns to me: "Shut the f*** up! You spend half your wages on whores, and I won't even mention the PC and internet. Then there's your secretary that you’ve been having an affair with, don’t think that I didn’t know. Well I’ve been having it off with your brother, so there..." 

The wife turns to our 10-year-old: "How could that happen, darling? Did someone seduce you, some boy at school?"

"No, Mum," she says. "The teacher just changed the cast in our Easter play. I'm not a virgin any more, just someone who cries near Jesus on the cross."

Corn Corner:

Not an Easter themed item but I have wanted to use this since I came across it a few weeks ago . . .

Archaeologists digging on a pyramid in Egypt have found a mummy covered in chocolate and hazelnuts. Experts believe it could be Pharaoh Rocher.