Funny Friday

Continuing the topic of tattoos:

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The ex-wife used to have my name tattooed on her boob, but she's had the tattoo removed.

I've been erased from her mammary.

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I always wanted to be different to everyone else...

So I haven't got any tattoos.

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I've got a tattoo on my wrist that says, "Never Lose Hope".

People think it's inspiring. It's not.

I'm a forgetful man with a two year old daughter called Hope.

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I went to a tattooists and asked for a Celtic band on my arm.

He did a picture of the Pogues.

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I saw a man recently with a tattoo that said 'Only God can judge me'.

"Nice tattoo," I said. "It's not true, though."

"That's blasphemous! You can't say that," he replied.

"I don't care," I said. "My courtroom, my rules."

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A guy surprises his fiancee by having her name tattooed on his penis. In flowing script it says, “Wendy.”

On their Jamaican honeymoon, he uses a public bathroom and sees a Jamaican man who seems to have the same name tattooed on his penis. The husband asks, “So your girl’s name is Wendy, too?”

The guy looks down at his penis and says, “No, once de wrinkles come out, it says, ‘Welcome to Jamaica, mon! Have a nice day.’ 

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I really love my new tattoo. 

"No pain, no g"

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Corn Corner:

My son has had an Ace of Spades, Ace of Hearts, Ace of Diamonds and Ace of Clubs tattooed on himself.

I ‘ll deal with him later.