CRAFT and More

Caution: risque language

When I arrived at my office yesterday, I realised that I had left the power lead for my laptop at home, which No 1 son Thomas was kind enough to collect and drop off. That evening when I unpacked my laptop at home, I realised that I had left the lead at the office. Knowing that Thomas was out for the night, I sent him a text message asked if he was able to collect it on his way home and he agreed to do so, commenting that it appeared I didn’t like that lead. I responded “CRAFT”, which is an acronym explained below.

I worked out later that the reason rthat I kept forgetting it was that a day or so earlier I had purchased a new mouse. Whereas my previous mouse had been with a lead, Officeworks told me that all the mouses (mice?) they now sold were cordless. Being used to disconnecting my laptop, then putting the mouse with the lead and the transformer with the lead into the same bag, my trigger for remembering the electrical lead was gone, that trigger being the cord on the mouse.

It started me thinking, however, about acronyms.

WW2 generations used acronyms such as SNAFU and SFA, later came FUBAR and SWALK, then internet speak such as CUL8R.

In the interests of assisting communication, here are some of the more common acronyms that may be useful at some time or other:

CRAFT	Can’t Remember A Fucking Thing
SNAFU	Situation Normal: All Fucked Up
SFA	Sweet Fuck All / Sweet Fanny Adams
FUBAR	Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition
LOMBARD	Lot Of Money But A Real Dickhead
FIGJAM	Fuck I’m Good, Just Ask Me.
SWALK	Sealed With A Loving Kiss
DINK	Double Income, No Kids
NORWICH	Nickers Off, Ready When I Come Home
SWOT	SWOT analysis: Strengths, Weapons, Opportunities, Threats
SITCOM	Single Income, Two Children, Outrageous Mortgage
NIMBY	Not In My Backyard
NIABY	Not In Anyone’s Backyard
SOBBY	Some Other Bugger’s Backyard
CAVE	Citizens Against Virtually Everything
AHOYA	Arsehole Of The Year Award
OMG	Oh My God
AKA	Also Known As
ALF	Always Listen First
LOL	Laughing Out Loud
LMAO	Laughing My Arse Off
ROFLMAO	Rolling On The Floor Laughing My Arse Off
BTW	By The Way
FWIW	Fop What It’s Worth
DNA	National Dyslexic Association (Nahh, that’s not true)
FIIK	Fucked If I Know
FYI	For Your Information
NFI	No Fucking Idea
DILLIGARD	Do I Look Like I Give A Damn?
IMHO	In My Humble Opinion
PICNIC	Problem In Chair, Not In Computer
NSS	No Shit, Sherlock!

* * * * * * * * *