Funny Friday

Being a My Kitchen Rules fan, today's Funny Friday theme is . . . chefs.

Caution: risque content included.

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They told me straight away at the interview that I wasn't suitable for the job.

"You haven't had any experience in the restaurant business as a Sous Chef, have you?" they said.

"How could you tell?" I asked.

"Well," came the reply, "the eagle feathers and warpaint."

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"So Jamie, why are you called The Naked Chef?"

"One day I turned up at the studio without any cloves"

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I just bought a complete set of chef's knives for two hundred quid.

But I'm confused, which one is the best for piercing the film on my microwaveable meal?

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I brought a date to my place last night.

I said, "I hope you like Indian food."

Surprised, she giggled, "Bit of a chef, are we?"

"No," I replied, "I got a take away last night and it's still under the bed."

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I've just seen a show called 'Iron Chef' on the TV schedules.

Not having seen it, I can only assume it's a fly-on-the-wall documentary about women.

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There was a man with a restaurant near a construction site. The construction workers usually had their lunches in there, their favourite meal being beef soup.

But one day the chef ran out of meat, and in his panicked state he ran out the door in the hope of finding a ride to town. After noticing that there were no vehicles nearby he sadly started walking back to his restaurant. Upon nearing the construction site he saw a sheep tied up on a pole nearby. He was so happy that he untied the sheep and proceeded to his place.

At lunchtime the construction workers walked in and ordered their favorite soup.

During the meal, the guys started exclaiming in delight that the soup tasted extremely good, and asked what was the reason for that. The chef was pleased and proceeded to tell them about his predicament and how he used mutton from the sheep instead. Everyone stopped eating with a dazed look on their faces.

The chef asked, "What's the matter boys, did I screw up the cooking?"

"No." replied the foreman of the construction team, "you cooked up the screwing."

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Corn Corner:

Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!

I'm not surprised, sir, our chef used to be a tailor.

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Many years ago, a baker's assistant called Richard the Pourer, whose job it was to pour the dough mixture in the making of sausage rolls, noted that he was running low on one of the necessary spices, sent his apprentice to the store to buy more.

Unfortunately, upon arriving at the shop the young man realised that he had forgotten the name of the ingredient. All he could do was to tell the shopkeeper that it was: "For Richard the Pourer, for batter for wurst."

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