Funny Friday

God. That's not an exclamation, it's a description. It's today's Funny Friday subject . . .

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God's Control Panel

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Memo from God 

To: YOU

Date: TODAY

From: GOD

Subject: YOURSELF

Reference: LIFE

This is God.

Today I will be handling All of your problems for you.

I do Not need your help.

So, have a nice day.

I love you.

P.S. And, remember...

If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, 

do not attempt to resolve it yourself!

Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to do) box.

I will get to it in MY TIME.

All situations will be resolved, but in My time, not yours.

Once the matter is placed into the box, do not hold onto it by worrying about it.

Instead, focus on all the wonderful things that are present in your life now.

If you find yourself stuck in traffic, don't despair.

There are people in this world for whom driving is an unheard of privilege.

Should you have a bad day at work, think of the man who has been out of work for years.

Should you despair over a relationship gone bad, think of the person who has never known what it's like to love and be loved in return.

Should you grieve the passing of another weekend, think of the woman in dire straits, working twelve hours a day, seven days a week to feed her children.

Should your car break down, leaving you miles away from assistance, think of the paraplegic who would love the opportunity to take that walk.

Should you notice a new gray hair in the mirror, think of the cancer patient in 

chemo who wishes she had hair to examine.

Should you find yourself at a loss and pondering what is life all about, asking 

what is my purpose, be thankful.  There are those who didn't live long enough 

to get the opportunity. 

Should you find yourself the victim of other people's bitterness, ignorance, smallness or insecurities, remember, things could be worse. 

You could be one of them! 

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Limerick Spot:

God's plan made a hopeful beginning,

But Man spoilt his chances by sinning;

We hope that the story

Will end in God' glory,

But at present the other side's winning.

Still on the religious theme, the following limerick, sometimes described as the most outrageous limerick of all, is attributed to Dylan Thomas.  Whether or not he wrote it, he certainly loved to quote it.  (That sounds like the beginning of a limerick itself).

There was an old bugger called God,

Who got a young virgin in pod.

This disgraceful behaviour

Begot Christ our Saviour,

Who was nailed to a cross, poor old sod.