Funny Friday

 

Today’s Funny Friday is somewhat different. Not everyone will like it but, as one Mr Ricky Nelson once said when singing about a garden party, you can’t please everyone so you’ve got to please yourself. 

Recently I again came across a reference to the phrase “Veni, Vidi, Vici” (I came, I saw, I conquered). These are the words that Julius Caesar uttered in 47BC, not as is commonly thought upon the Roman invasion of Britain but in respect of the short war against King Pharnaces 11 of Pontus at the battle of Zela. 

It reminded me that years ago I had been a guest at an Italian wedding where local standup comic Vince Sorrenti had been one of the performers. A very funny man. He commented on the Italian penchant for concreted and tiled gardens and asked “Have you ever met an Italian who owned a lawn mower?”   He also commented that the motto of the Italians is “I came, I saw, I concreted.” 

I was aware of the humorous alternative version of the Veni, Vidi, Vici phrase, namely:

but I was not aware of a host of other versions: 

Veni, Vidi, Velcro 

I came, I saw, I stuck around. 

(It has also been suggested that this means I came, I saw, I gathered lint).

Veni Vidi Volavi 

I came, I saw, I flew (away) 

Veni Vidi Volo In Domum Redire 

I came, I saw, I want to go home. 

Veni Vidi Venus 

I came, I saw, I must see more!

Veni, vidi, rideo risi risum meus clunis abscindo! 

I came, I saw, I laughed my rear end off!

Veni, vidi, clamavi clarissima voce 

I came, I saw, I screamed in a very loud voice!

Veni, Vidi, VISA 

I came, I saw, I shopped. 

Veni, Vidi, Video 

I came, I saw, I got it on tape. 

Veni, Vidi, Vito 

I came, I saw, I paid my loan shark 

Veni, Vidi, Vacuui 

I came, I saw, I left 

(Also: 

Veni, Vidi, Vamoose 

I came, I saw, I left) 

Veni, Vidi, V8 

I came, I saw, I went very quickly 

Veni, Vidi, Volley 

I came, I saw, I played tennis 

Veni, Vidi, Fiji 

I came, I saw, I ran away as far as possible 

Veni, Vidi, Vacuum 

I came, I saw, I cleaned up 

Veni, Vidi, Volvo 

I came, I saw, I drove 

Veni, Vidi, Verily 

I came, I saw, I concurred 

A by the way moment: 

The saying is used as the motto for the US Army Sniper School in Fort Benning, Georgia, where soldiers are trained in marksmanship, sniper equipment and tactics, collection of battlefield intelligence, stalking and other sniper-related skills.

Unfortunately the first word of the motto as used by the school has been  misspelled.