Funny Friday

 

Since more and more Seniors are texting and tweeting there appears to be a need for a STC (Senior Texting Code). If you qualify for Senior Discounts this is the code for you.
Please pass this on to your children and grandchildren so they can understand your texts.
ATD:	At The Doctor's
BFF:	Best Friend Fainted
BTW:	Bring The Wheelchair
BYOT:	Bring Your Own Teeth
CBM:	Covered By Medicare
CGU:	Can't get up
CUATSC:	See You At The Senior Center
DWI:	Driving While Incontinent
FWB:	Friend With Beta Blockers
FWIW:	Forgot Where I Was
FYI:	Found Your Insulin
GGPBL:	Gotta Go Pacemaker Battery Low!
GHA:	Got Heartburn Again
HGBM:	Had Good Bowel Movement
IMHO:	Is My Hearing-Aid On?
LMDO:	Laughing My Dentures Out
LOL:	Living On Lipitor
LWO:	Lawrence Welk's On
OMMR:	On My Massage Recliner
OMSG:	Oh My! Sorry Gas.
ROFL... CGU:	Rolling On The Floor Laughing... And Can't Get Up
TTYL:	Talk To You Louder
WAITT:	Who Am I Talking To?
WTFA:	Wet The Furniture Again
WTP:	Where's The Prunes?
WWNO:	Walker Wheels Need Oil
GGLKI:	(Gotta Go Laxative Kicking In)

A man worked in a post office. His job was to process all mail that had illegible addresses. 

One day a letter came to his desk, addressed in shaky handwriting to God. He thought, "I better open this one and see what it's all about." 

So he opened it and it read: 

"Dear God, I am an 83 year old widow living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had a hundred dollars in it which was all the money I had until my next pension cheque. Next Sunday is Mother's Day, and I had invited my last two friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with.  I have no family to turn to and you are my only hope. Can  you please help me?"

The postal worker was touched, and went around showing the letter to all the others. Each of them dug into his wallet and came up with a few dollars. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected 96 dollars, which they put into an envelope  and sent over to her.

The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of the nice thing they had done. Mother's Day came and went, and a few days later came another letter from the old lady to God. 

All the  workers gathered around while the letter was opened.

It read:

"Dear God, How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me?  Because of your generosity, I was able to fix a lovely dinner for  my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift. By the way, there was 4 dollars missing. It was no doubt those thieving bastards at the post office!!!!!!”