Funny Friday

At a revival meeting the preacher is promoting faith healing.  “If you believe, you will be healed. All it takes is faith.  Believe that the Lord Jesus Christ will cure you and His love will make you whole. Is there anyone here who wants to be healed?”

A little old lady in the front row raises her hand and he calls her on stage. She makes her way slowly on her crutches.  He asks her name and she says “Mrs Smith.”  He asks whether she has faith and she replies “Yes”.  The preacher says “Then go behind the curtain, Mrs Smith, and you will be healed.”

He asks again if anyone else wants healing.  Bily Bloggs raises his hand and says “Neth.”  He too is called onstage and asked his name/  It is obvious that he has a speech defect resulting from a cleft palate when he says “Nilly Noggs.”  Again the preacher asks “Do you have faith?” and receives an answer from Billy Bloggs, “Neth.”  “Then go behind the curtain and you too will be healed.”

“Mrs Smith, throw out your left crutch.”

A crutch is thrown over the curtain.

“Mrs Smith, throw out your right crutch.”

As the congregation chants and praises the Lord, with many Hallelujahs, the other crutch came over the curtain.

“Now, Billy Bloggs, have faith, speak to me.”

From behind the curtain comes Billy Bloggs' voice, “Mithith Nith juth fallen on ner narth.”

Caution: the following item is risqué.

I was hesitant about including the following item as being possibly too risqué but was encouraged to do so by my older son, who said that I was too sensitive.  On reflecting about a risqué content warning, I realised that any such warnings had never caused me to avoid something, in fact it made me want to watch or read it even more.  I have a sneaking suspicion that some TV shows carry such a warning, especially on the promos, to attract viewers.  I once knew a newsagent who said that he had second rate adult magazines that weren’t selling.  He sealed them in plastic and they sold out quickly.

Here is the Friday Funny I was talking about . . .

A Confederate soldier was given the job of supplying his regiment with food. To help him, he hired an Indian scout. The two of them set off on their journey to find some buffalo.

After riding for hours, the Indian gets off his horse, puts his ear to the ground and says, "Buffalo come."

The soldier looks all around but sees nothing.  He says to the Indian, "I don’t see anything, how do you know buffalo come?”

The Indian replies “Ear sticky.”