From Byter Vince:
At dawn the telephone rings:
"Hello, Senor Rod? This issa Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house."
"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"
"Umm, I just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your parrot, he issa dead".
"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the international competition?"
"Si, Senor, this issa the one."
Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?"
"He issa eating the rotten meat, Senor Rod."
"Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?"
"Nobody, Senor. He issa eat the meat of the dead horse."
"Dead horse? What dead horse?"
"The thoroughbred, Senor Rod."
"My prize thoroughbred is dead?"
"Yes, Senor Rod, he issa die from all that work pulling the water cart."
"Are you insane? What water cart?"
"The one we issa use to put out the fire, Senor."
"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"
"The one at your house, Senor! A candle issa fall and the curtains issa caught on fire."
"What the hell? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a bloody candle?!"
"Yes, Senor Rod."
"But there's electricity at the house! What was the candle for?"
"For the funeral, Senor Rod."
"WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL??!!"
"Your wife's, Senor Rod. She issa showed up very late one night and I issa thinking she issa a thief, so I hit her with your new Ping G15 204g titanium head golf club with the TFC 149D graphite shaft."
SILENCE........... LONG SILENCE.........VERY LONG SILENCE..
"Ernesto, if you broke that bloody driver, you're in deep shit!"
wow, that\s great:)))... do you remember the scene from "Capricorn 1"? where one of the astronauts is climbing a rock in order to find a way to run... he is climbing and simultaneously telling to himself an anecdote about someone having a phone call - some friend tells him that his cat is dead because of falling off the roof. "hey", says the owner of the cat, "how you could say that? you should tell this carefully. you should start this way: you know, friend, your cat has got on the roof..." his friend says: "ok, buddy. then... listen now. your mother has got on the roof..." telling all this, the astronaut comes up to the edge of the rock... and what he sees are the helicopters of his chasers. i could never forget the feeling.
ReplyDeleteIt is interesting to note that one of the stars of Capricorn One, a movie about cover up, distortion of facts and the presentation of a story different from what actually happened, is O J Simpson.
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