Anyone who watches The Simpsons will be aware of Bart’s regular calls to Moe at Moe’s Bar where he asks for someone whose name ends up having a double meaning. Example:
Bart: Is Oliver there?
Moe: Who?
Bart: Oliver Clothesoff.
Moe: Hold on, I'll check. (calls) Oliver Clothesoff! Call for Oliver Clothesoff!
Readers may also remember the classic scene in the movie Porky’s where the young guys ask the waitress to have someone named “Mike Hunt” paged. See it at:
Some time ago an email was circulated recording the antics of a group of young people who had people on international flights paged at Heathrow Airport. As with the other items above, the essence of the joke is that whilst the names read one thing, when actually spoken they sound like something different. Examples of the names paged:
Reads like:
Arheddis Varkenjaab and Aywellbe Fayed
Sounds like:
I hate this fucking job, and I will be fired
Reads like:
Arhevbin Fayed and Bybeiev Rhibodie
Arhevbin Fayed and Bybeiev Rhibodie
Sounds like:
I have been fired, and bye-bye everybody
Reada like:
Aynayda Pizaqvick and Malexa Kriest
Sounds like:
I need a piss quick, and my legs are crossed
You can hear the pages by clicking the audio icon at:
But reporters would be too smart and too streetwise to be taken in like that, right? Not so.
Most famously, on 13 April 2003 the Charleston Post & Courier published a report on a demonstration at the Masters Golf Tournament at the Augusta National Golf Club to protest the club’s exclusion of women. The report included a paragraph:
Throughout the morning, law enforcement officers stood on the perimeter of the 5 acre field.. At no point did the protest turn violent, though officers escorted Heywood Jablome away after he held up a sign … that read “Make me dinner”..
When spoken, the name is heard as “Hey, would you blow me?” but the reporter, James Scott, did not detect that. He became a laughing stock and became the subject of newspaper articles himself. His defence was that he had not heard the person call out his name when asked, he arrived only at the time that the name was being spelt, which he duly wrote down and incorporated in his article. His report on being duped appeared the following week:
I went to Augusta last week to cover protests at The Masters golf tournament and, along with several other reporters, fell for a media prankster's trick..I'm a legend -- and it only took two words to make me one...A man talked with about a dozen reporters and identified himself by a bogus name, a name that, while appearing innocuous enough on paper, refers to a sex act when sounded out. Unfortunately, I never actually heard the protestor's name pronounced, just caught him spelling it out for others and jotted it down in my notepad...I wrote the story for Sunday's paper, tucked the quote down near the bottom, filed it to my editors in Charleston and blithely went about my life, unaware that this one name was about to make my own name known around the country...While it's certainly funny -- believe me, my wife won't quit hassling me about it -- the episode has taught me a lesson: Trust no one. My confidence in people is now tarnished, and that may be the thing that bothers me the most. People complain that reporters are jaded. Well, now you know one reason why.
A report on the above is at:
There have been previous instances of Mr Jablome’s name being published, but not as famously as that of James Scott. A report on previous instances is at
where it is also recorded that whilst the front of the sign at the golf protest said “Make me dinner”, the rear said “Iron my shirts”. That article also records that unlike Mr Scott, the other reporters scratched out the name as soon as the spelling was given.
One of the first names appearing on a CNN list of Hurricane Katrina survivors in 2005 was “Ablohmie, Hayward J, of New Orleans, Louisiana”.
The story does not, however, end there.
Mr Jablome reappeared in a newspaper article on 27 December 2009 of a Fargo, North Dakota newspaper in which he was mentioned digging out a snow drift.
(Click on pic to enlarge).
So there you have it.
If, in future, someone gives you his name as Haywood Jablome and you accept it, you now have only yourself to blame.
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